Cullens go Water Skiing
by sazza-da-vampire
Summary: The Cullens have decided to go water-skiing. This may not have been such a good idea... It's a good thing vampires can't get hurt easily!
1. Skiing

Disclaimer: Is Stephenie Meyer a teenager? No? Am I? Yes? So, could I be her? No. Sorry, but I'm not that great.

3rd person POV – set WAY after Eclipse, Bella is a vampire

"Water-skiing?" Bella screamed in dismay. "You really expect me to water-ski?"

Edward, Carlisle, Bella and Jasper were towing a ski boat – yes, one of those really expensive, really fast ones – in the Volvo, and Rosalie and Esme were in the convertible, towing a black jet ski, with a short ski pole on the back and big enough for three people. Bringing up the rear was Emmett and Alice in the Jeep, towing a rather large boat, the whole point of which was to carry the unused boards, ropes and tubes.

And they were flying along the otherwise deserted highway at 240 km/h.

Ten minutes – which should have been half an hour – later, they arrived at the boat ramp for the large lake. No-one else was in the southern end of the lake – wind today was supposed to be horrible – but the north was rather busy, what with the calm water.

First, Rosalie and Edward reversed their cars towards the water, and when the boat and ski were in the water, Esme and Jasper held the ropes to prevent them from floating away or banging into each other. As soon as the BMW and Volvo were out of the way, Emmett brought his own car into place, and ten minutes later another boat was in the water, Alice holding the ropes.

Carlisle and Bella loaded the tube, the wakeboard, the single ski, the doubles skis (with a rope between them for Bella, Alice and Jasper, who had never skied before) and the kneeboard onto Emmett's boat. They came up with nicknames for the equipment, things like "the blue tube", "home base" and "the Fast boat". Alice swore that she could hear the capital in Fast whenever Edward, Carlisle, Emmett or Esme talked about the ski boat.

Esme pulled eight wetsuits out of the backseat of the Mercedes, throwing them to their respective owners. Bella, Alice, Esme and Rosalie each had terribly bright colours, while the 'boys' had dull black wetsuits. Every single wetsuit was long sleeved and long legged, and they all wore wet-shoes and water-ski gloves, to keep the sunlight at bay. Rosalie and Alice had recently found a sunscreen that was effective enough to completely cut the glitter from the vampires' skin – if they reapplied every two hours. The 'girls' didn't put it on their eyes – Bella, Rosalie, Alice and Esme said that they would excuse it as glitter eye shadow, but the others could use no such excuse, and suffered with sunscreen in their eyes.

As soon as Carlisle helped her with the zip (which was at the back, annoyingly), Esme proceeded to hand out lifejackets. They were PFD type 3, which means they would float, but were not high visibility, or suitable for open water, (in other words, dull colours like black and blue, not fluoro red, orange or yellow, and did not have flaps on the neck that support the head.)

Alice and Rosalie, who had zips at the front of the wetsuits, refused to zip them or the PFDs up until they were skiing, claiming that they were tight, but everyone saw right through it – they did not need to breathe, they just wanted to show off their new bikinis, and knew full well that the looked totally sexy with the bare skin showing down to their belly buttons. Eventually Esme convinced them that the sunlight on their fronts would not be excused as body glitter – no shimmer powder was that sparkly.

Carlisle climbed onto the Jet Ski, as Esme took charge of the Fast Boat, with Alice and Bella on board, and Rosalie drove Home Base, intentionally leaving Edward, Emmett and Jasper behind.

Shouting profanities at the girls and their father figure, the vampires moved the cars with trailers to parking spots then threw themselves into the lake and swam – utilising their vampire speed and strength – towards the quickly retreating boats and Jet Ski.

Carlisle went the fastest – he wanted to take the Jet Ski for a spin before towing anyone – but he circled back to Edward and Jasper when Emmett caught the rope and wakeboard that Esme threw him, to find that they had the Blue Tube, and were busy connecting the rope to the tube. Soon Edward found that the other end on the rope had sunk, so he pulled it out, following the rope as he went, until he found the end of it.

"Carlisle!" Edward called as Jasper climbed out of the water and onto the tube. "Stop the Ski!"

Carlisle did, and called to Alice, "I need an observer, get your arse over here!"

"But the water's cold!"

"One: we can't feel the cold! Two: you're wearing a wetsuit, it doesn't matter!"

"Well come over here then!"

"Just get your pretty little arse onto this thing, or do you want Jasper to be in danger?" He had her there. Alice pouted and jumped overboard, and stopped trying to stay above the water as much as possible when she realised that she would get wet, no matter what.

Climbing onto the back of the Jet Ski, she asked, "So what do I do?"

"Just sit, facing backwards, you can grab the loops on the ski pole, they're handles, and can you check that the rope is safely attached? That is a Quick-Release system, pull it if you think something dangerous could happen. It disconnects the rope, they stop, and I turn around to go get them. OK?"

"Yep!" she said cheerfully.

Carlisle called to Edward and Jasper, explaining their method of communication. "Nod your head, or flick your hand up if you want me to go faster, shake your head or flick your hand down to slow down, and move your finger in a circle if you want me to spin. Put your hand out to the front in a stop signal, and Alice will release the rope, and I'll come get you. OK?"

With the determined nods from Edward and Jasper, Carlisle started up the jet ski, going at a normal thirty or so kilometres an hour, but sped up when he saw Edward and Jasper waving their hands wildly, signalling for more speed. He obliged, and turned sharply to the left; the tube swung wide of the wake and started travelling almost sideways – Jasper would've flown off if he was human. Suddenly he sped up, the tube moved back onto the wake, but now he spun in two circles to the right – and Edward flew off (at least a metre above the water) but Jasper managed to hang on, until Alice pulled the cord and the Quick-Release system detached the tube – Jasper, still clinging on for dear life, spun away, coming to a rest only when the base of the tube hit the ground at the edge of the lake.

Carlisle went back to get Edward, telling Alice to put her hand in the air to signify that a skier was in the water, and stopped the ski so that he could climb aboard, before heading off to get Jasper and the tube.

Jasper passed the end of the rope to Edward as Alice jumped off the ski, and Carlisle headed towards Home Base to replace Edward with Rosalie, and let Jasper observe.

When they arrived at the boat dubbed "base", they found that Esme was waiting for them as Bella, Rosalie and Emmett had the fast boat and the wakeboard. Edward took charge of the Home Base, while Esme and Alice floated on the tube, and Edward drove the ski letting Carlisle observe.

Over in the Fast Boat, Bella was attempting to ride the wakeboard, while Rosalie drove. Let's just say that when she had observed Emmett, he had obviously used brute strength to get up – and stay up – but Bella lacked this kind of necessary strength, and had to rely on Esme's advice of just holding on and letting the water carry her. (doesn't this ring a bell, although it was me failing, my sister using brute strength and my Mum encouraging…)

After she failed for the fourth time, as she waited for Rosalie and Emmett to come back, she saw Edward driving the Jet Ski with Esme and Alice on the tube. Suddenly, he spun around, and Bella saw the last thing she had been expecting – Esme and Alice were flying through the air, screaming their hearts out, and landed twenty meters from the tube, and at least ten metres from each other.

(Over on the tube, seconds earlier) Alice POV

Esme nearly panicked when I signalled to Edward to spin. And he did, rather suddenly. One second, I was holding on to the tube, my arm wrapped around Esme's, the next, I was flying, screaming until I was hoarse, seeing Esme five metres away, not quite so high, and then I was in the water, and I came up laughing.

"Let's do that again!" Esme shouted to me. I laughed and agreed. (Actually, this happened to me and my cousin, too)

"That was so fun!" I screamed, thinking it loudly, and knew that Edward had heard because when he and Carlisle reached us he wasn't panicky.

The Fast Boat joined us when we reached Home Base, and Bella vowed never to try a wakeboard again. Carlisle and Jasper hurried onto the Fast boat, and I joined them, wanting to try the kneeboard, which I dragged off the Base. Bella stayed on Base, and Emmett replaced the tube with the double skis, although he removed the safety ropes.

(3rd POV again)

Esme climbed onto the ski to observe and Edward took off, taking the jet – and Emmett – up to a speed that would kill a human – 90 km/h, weaving around the lake in order to not run into the bank.

After Esme had her turn, though at a human pace, Edward drove to Base, to let Carlisle let Jasper drive. Emmett, Esme and Edward got off the Jet Ski, and waited for the Fast Boat with Bella after tying a tow rope between the ski and Base.

Over on the Fast Boat was Rosalie (it was her boat, after all), Alice, Carlisle and Jasper. Rosalie let Carlisle drive so that she could try the wakeboard, and then Jasper and Alice each had a go on the kneeboard – starting at the bank so that they wouldn't have trouble starting in deep water (do you know how impossible that is, unless someone else in holding the board so that it won't flip?).

Finally, Carlisle insisted that he wanted to try the wakeboard. Rosalie grudgingly complied, and Alice pulled the kneeboard onboard when she climbed into the boat, and Jasper chucked the wakeboard at Carlisle. He wouldn't have, if Rosalie had voiced her thoughts, but Edward wasn't there and she was too worried to speak. After all, that was just after the boards had been invented, wasn't it? He couldn't come off the board again, could he?

Turned out he could.

Carlisle managed to stand up on the board, which was more than Bella had done, but once he got up he wasn't very confident. He was travelling towards the left side of the board, and wanted to go right. So he jumped and twisted his body, to put his right foot in front. But his foot slipped out of the Emmett-sized boot, and he was travelling at 70 kph with only one foot strapped to the board.

He placed his loose foot on the board, trying to stay standing. But his other foot was slipping around in the too-big fastenings, and when he hit a wave his other foot came out. Now he was regretting removing his wet-shoes, he should have done what Alice was planning to do, what Bella had done – worn them inside the boots attached to the board.

But of course, he'd been stubborn.

And now he wasn't attached to the wakeboard, at all. And they were about to cross the wake of the Jet Ski.

"Oh Shit!"

Bang, he hit the first wave. Bang, another wave. Bang, _bang_, bang. More waves.

And suddenly he couldn't feel the board anymore; it wasn't under his feet. . .

Good thing he didn't need to breathe. He found himself being dragged through the water, about 30cm under the surface. And Rosalie wasn't stopping.

In the boat, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper were in fits of laughter, for Rosalie had explained about what had happened last time. And the exact same thing was happening again. So Rosalie kept driving, not stopping until she was by Home Base.

Let's just say that Esme wasn't happy, and Rosalie, Alice and Jasper never even thought of repeating the scenario after Esme finished her lecture.


	2. Jasper Driving

"You are going to get that board RIGHT NOW, and YOU won't be trying a wake board EVER AGAIN, GOT IT?" Esme finished. Rosalie, Jasper, Alice and Carlisle nodded, before Carlisle and Jasper climbed onto the Jet Ski to chase the board, floating halfway across the – rather wide – lake. Rosalie surrendered her Fast Boat to Edward, Esme and Bella, leaving Alice and Rosalie on the Home Base.

Bella had hooked the tube to the Fast Boat, and Edward drove as first Bella, then Esme had a few turns on the tube. They both admitted that it was much easier to stay on if only one vampire was on board. After all, if you were alone on it, you could stay in the middle, with thirty centimetres of tube to either side, rather then the edge right by your hip.

Over on the ski, Carlisle and Jasper had swapped seats so that Jasper was in front. "Press the little red button to cut the jet, and to start it is the green button," Carlisle said, and Jasper obediently pressed the buttons on the left of the handlebar. "Squeeze the lever on the right side to speed up, release it to slow down. That's about it," Carlisle summed up.

"Excellent," Jasper commented, before squeezing his right hand into a loose fist, quickly releasing it when the ski lurched underneath him, tipping backwards. "Woah." (I did the exact same thing, so I am going from experience)

"You're a hoon."

"It's rather sensitive."

A wave of annoyance hit Carlisle, he grinned at Jasper mischievously.

"Try again," he commanded, "softer."

Jasper acquiesced, the ski gradually accelerated, one K at a time, until they were speeding along at thirty km/h. "Faster!" Carlisle yelled to be heard over the jet. "You're going so slow!"

So what did Jasper do? He squeezed the throttle. And shot off at 75 km/h. He turned gently, not wanting to risk tipping, and the radius of his arc was at least two hundred metres, rather than Edward or Carlisle's ten metre arc.

Jasper sped up as he headed towards Home Base, and went right past, spraying Alice and Rosalie with wash as he went. He turned around and stopped the ski, laughing at Alice and Rosalie.

"JASPER! You got water in my dry clothes! Rosalie screamed at him, holding up a shirt spotted with water drops.

"Uh oh. Better go –"

"No way, you're facing the consequences, young man," Carlisle said, literally throwing him into the girls' wrath.

**Ok, that's written on the 24/01/08, and I have run out of ideas – that are plausible, anyway. I haven't been skiing (well, tubing) recently, but I have gone on the Jet Ski with Dad – top speed was 92, possibly 95 km/h! that's 41 knots. YAY! However, I am going again this weekend with a different pair of friends (so far I've based parts on me and my sister, me and my cousin, and me and a pair of friends. So, this weekend I shall have more ideas! )**

**Sorry about the short chapter, I have run dry of inspiration so far. I did think about Jasper running into the bank, but it would damage a real jet ski – if you want to beach it, you have to take it in very slowly, and make sure that it isn't too far out of the water – Dad can't get it back in the water if more than ¼ is out of the water, even then he has trouble. However, we saw a couple of Emmett-sized guys get a big ski that was half on the sand into the water – and we saw a sea plane land, not a hundred metres away! **

**Okay, enough babbling. I shall have inspiration for more (I'm only using experience, and I haven't yet tried two skies, let alone one, so I can't describe it. On the weekend I have vowed to try the double skis, so I shall (hopefully) have something to say about Alice, Bella or Jasper trying the doubles.)**

**Expect an update soon, but all my after school activities start up again for the year when school does. 5 days.**


	3. I officially hate the kneeboard

**I officially hate year 11. And my best friend is planning to marry my Dad's Jetski. Which is a part of my newfound inspiration.**

Esme POV

Emmett and Edward are rather reckless on Rosalie's boat. I was on the tube with Bella, and Emmett was driving, but Edward told Emmett to go before I signalled that I was ready. As a result of not holding the handles, I flew off the tube, landing face down in the water. They ignored me and just gave Bella her turn on her own. When the boys came back to get me, they were laughing at me, while Bella was holding onto the tube for dear life.

"You looked like a starfish!" Edward gasped, still laughing at my expense.

I glared daggers at him, before swimming toward the tube, very, very, VERY slowly. Do you know how hard it is to move in a full length wetsuit? And I'm not even wearing the long sleeves – instead I have a long sleeved swimshirt. I eventually got to the tube of doom, and as soon as I climbed on I saw Jasper – JASPER! – driving the jetski.

And not just driving, either. More like killing himself. I sat on the tube, gaping at my husband and my son, especially, when I noticed him heading towards Alice and Rosalie, spraying them with wash before turning back. When he realised how angry the girls were, he tried to escape, but Carlisle forced him into the girls' capable hands.

Bella fell off pretty soon when we went for a spin, and I climbed victoriously to my knees as Emmett turned the boat toward Bella, floating in the water about fifty metres away. I raised my hands above my head, chanting "I am the champion" but misjudged the distance between me and Bella – when the boat pulled at the slack, I toppled off again.

I came up, coughing up water, to see not only Emmett and Edward, but also Bella, on the boat laughing at me.

Alice POV

Let's just say things got ugly. Carlisle sent Jasper to me and Rosalie. An ANGRY me and Rosalie.

By the time we had finished, he was within an inch of his immortal life, and the only reason we didn't pull him to pieces and burn them was because I would probably pull myself to pieces over a fire if that happened.

Or I'd go to Italy and step into the sun, like Edward nearly did.

We all ordered Jasper to stay on Home Base as he recovered, and that he would not be physically fit to ski any more. He was . . . rather disappointed, to say the least. Which made us disappointed, until Carlisle lifted the ban and said he was only banned from ever driving the jetski.

Esme, Edward and Emmett soon came back, Bella wanted a go on the kneeboard, so did I, Jasper and Rosalie. Esme was the only one brave enough to start in deep water, so after Edward jumped into the water to hold the board – and Esme – up right, she grabbed the board, strapped her legs in, and caught the rope that Carlisle threw her. He started up the jetski again, and idled out until the rope was tight.

Esme nodded resolutely, and Carlisle revved the ski. She shot forwards at forty Ks, and Edward climbed back aboard Home Base. Emmett and Rosalie each drove a boat as we headed towards a shore, and as soon as we got there I jumped off the Fast Boat. I wanted to go first, after all.

Esme POV

Bang bang bang bangbangbang. Ow my knees hurt.

I hate cramps. Especially when they centre in both ankles as well as both thighs. I think I strapped the board on too tight.

Waves. Oh C. Not good.

The nose of my board suddenly tipped downwards, sending me flying, head over heels, across the water. I let go of the rope's handle, scrabbling at the Velcro strap across my thighs, frantic to get out, before I calmed down, realising that I had no need to breathe. The Velcro soon ripped apart, and my head broke the surface of the lake.

I noticed that Carlisle and Bella had just left me there – they were sitting on the ski, Alice holding the rope at the bank, yelling to me to hurry up. So I swan towards them, using the kneeboard as a bodyboard.

It wasn't terribly comfortable.

Alice POV

It looked easy. Bang bang bang. When Esme did it, it looked easy. Bang bang bang. Oh sh. Waves.

I slipped my knees out of the strap after giving up on undoing the Velcro. I glared at Carlisle and Bella, and shouted "I hate kneeboards! If I was human I would've drowned!"

After Jasper, Rosalie, Bella, Edward, Carlisle and Emmett had all had a turn on the kneeboard – starting on the bank in water barely ten centimetres deep – we decided to call it a day.

So we reattached the tube to the back of the Fast Boat, and Bella, Rosalie, Jasper, Edward and I all piled onto it – on top of each other, each holding only one of the six handles on the tube, and each other to stay on – Esme, Emmett and Carlisle drove the boats and ski back to the other side of the lake, where the ramp was.

When we got there – after Esme coming back about six times when one or some of us would fall off (once, the entire tube tipped upside down when we all leaned forward) – Edward, Emmett and Rosalie brought the cars onto the ramp. We all helped to heave the boats onto the trailers, and Edward and Emmett took the Volvo and the Jeep into the carpark to wait.

Carlisle sat on the Jet Ski and with a blast of the jet he revved it up, out of the water and onto the half-submerged trailer. Jasper, Bella and I cheered and laughed, but the others seemed unimpressed.

I ran over to wrap my arms around the front of the jet ski. "I love the Jet Ski. I'm going to marry it." I stated proudly. Jasper pouted, but we could all feel the amusement radiating from him.

"Does that mean you don't want me anymore?" He jested.

"Yep!" we all laughed. Edward and Emmett joined us, asking about what was so funny. Edward must've read someone's thoughts, for he joined our laughter, but Emmett didn't find out for another five minutes.

We all got into the cars and headed home, after Carlisle, Rosalie and Edward took care of the motors of the three water vessels.

**The end. **

**Yesterday, I fell off the tube exactly the way Esme does, and the first time I tried the kneeboard it was the same as Alice's experience, except I decided to try again. I didn't end up trying the skis – Dad didn't bring them because they wouldn't see any use except for me trying once or twice. : (**

**I thought about photos, but eventually decided that no camera could capture any decent shot at those speeds – trust me, forty Ks is really fast on the tube. I've been that fast three times, and each time Dad was trying to make me and my sister/cousin/friend fall off in amusing ways. It worked!**

**Sorry if you think Esme is a bit OOC, or if you think I've neglected a character – I tried to make them all show evenly. **


End file.
